Mom Guilt Is Sneaky — Even When You’re Doing Something Great

A few weeks ago, I flew to D.C. with my husband for a major event. It was one of the last trips I’ll take before baby #2 arrives, and it was for something incredibly meaningful -

fundraising to support USA Rugby’s Women’s National Team. It was a proud, monumental moment. I was there with my co-founder and board teammate, celebrating months of hard work, and helping fuel the next generation of elite athletes.

It felt amazing to be there. To sleep through the night (hello, uninterrupted hotel sleep), to focus on one big thing, and to do something that’s bigger than me.

But the second I got home, everything hit at once. I was over seven months pregnant, beyond exhausted, and our 22-month-old little guy had a full emotional tank ready for mama. And I just… didn’t have the energy. Not right away. I felt it deep in my chest, a kind of mom guilt that showed up after I’d already done something brave, generous, and good.

It reminded me of the early days after my first maternity leave. The brain split between work mode and mom mode. The pressure to “choose” between them. Even when I was doing both well, guilt showed up and whispered, shouldn’t you be more present? more patient? more everything?

Mom guilt is sneaky like that.

Some of it is societal - expectations about what “good moms” should do. But honestly, a lot of it feels biological. Like there’s a little clock inside ticking for the next hug, the next snack, the next bedtime story - even when you’re not there.

I don’t have a perfect answer yet. But I’m trying to remind myself: being everything all the time isn’t the goal. Being a loving, human, sometimes-tired, always-trying parent? That’s more than enough.